Live On

It was impossible to start this post without first addressing the elephant in the room. Today is January 2nd, 2019 and I would like to take a moment to wish everyone a happy new year. I wish each of you a year of happiness, good health and success.

I was in the grocery store the other day with my grandfather looking for honey and there were so many different options; from organic to even vegan honey. It got me thinking about how society continues to brainwash people by determining what’s “cool” and what isn’t. I was twelve years old when I left Cameroon for the States and going to middle school wasn’t always fun. Many other kids and I, foreign and home-grown, were made fun of because what we wore wasn’t cool enough. Like Somali rapper K’naan said, “…we didn’t know the dress code though, we were bargainers. The knock off Filas, with the pumps and cheap cardigans.” Yes, we might have dressed differently, but society should not decide how we should be.

There is a reason why there are so many of us on earth, and there’s a reason why there are so many different things we can do on earth. We were created equally in the eyes of God, but our wants, needs, desires, and interests were always going to be different. I bet you Adam didn’t even like apples until Eve showed up with one.  (Please don’t come for me, it’s a joke)

The world is all there is, filled with many things from a to z. It is impossible for everyone from different backgrounds to enjoy and love the same things. Diversity is one of the best things to ever happen to the human race. There was this article of Business Insider which showcased a few immigrants who’ve made a name for themselves since migrating to America. The list includes Sergey Brin, Russian, co-founder of Google, Jan Koum, Ukrainian, co-founder of WhatsApp, Indra Nooyi, Indian, CEO of Pepsi. It’s a long list, but you get the point. People from different parts of the world travel to other parts of the world to make a difference.

A lot of kids grow up today afraid of fully expressing themselves because they fear they’d be made fun of since what they like to do isn’t “cool” enough. It’s sad. What makes it worse it that many people don’t have an open mind or respect the things they’re not interested in. For instance, I’ve played soccer all my life and it’s a fast sport. When I was introduced to baseball, I brushed it aside because it was slow and boring. I even said it was like watching grass grow. All this was because I did not understand it. I took the time to learn the rules and it made sense. Baseball is not watching grass grow. When we have an open mind and understand the things we don’t necessarily like, we won’t condemn it or the people who enjoy and love it.

Society is always going to have its trends, but we mustn’t follow it. Life is to be lived according to how you want to feel. Your decisions should come from within. Society is going to be here when we’re long gone. Do not be conform to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Society is a mixture of a lot of people, but you, you’re special, unique. Do what you can do best, even though others do it better and others condemn.

It’s your life, Live it

LIFE (Living Is For Everyone)

Boy D’jine

 

The Dusty Foot on the Road

…

“Why are his feet so dusty?”

     Being number one isn’t easy. It requires a lot of hard work. At the end of every season, players of whichever sports team that finish first will generally tell you that they won because of the amount of work they put in throughout the season. That’s something we cannot argue with, but I am not here to talk about sports.

     You see, being the first-born in the family is very stressful. Success is measured on how well you turn out in life, and the number of achievements you have. The number one pressure that is placed on a first child is becoming successful in everything you do. This societal pressure sometimes I don’t know how we do it. When you’re number one, you can set the bar so high that your younger ones can’t meet and then they feel useless. On the other hand you can set the bar so low that your younger ones come and surpass you and you’re left looking like the oops child in the family. Regardless of the above scenarios, it’s never straightforward and you can also be the only child.

You see those two scenarios above? Disregard them please LOL. That’s not the mindset to have. My take to being the first child in the family is to lead by example. You don’t really have someone to look up to so you become the guide. One thing I noticed is that people will look up to you even if they tell you or not. People like to follow a good example – if you’re doing something positive, your younger ones will pick it up. When I say younger ones, it’s not just your direct followers. It can be your cousins, nephews, nieces, your younger friends, and even some older ones. It’s not easy to be honest and it is very okay to fail. as long as you pick up a lesson or two and make the necessary adjustments as you move forward. Essential, as a first born, you become everyone’s ‘go to’ person and you must attend to each person. Don’t get me wrong it’s nice when you have the time, but you don’t always have time.

Dear first borns, don’t stress please. God sent you when he did for a reason. We’re very independent, but also very caring. Your feet are dusty because you’re paving the way for your younger ones. Keep up the good work, your efforts will not go unnoticed.

Boy D’jine

Sentimental Rage

Rage. Rage. Rage

If someone ever told you that they don’t have any secrets, they’re lying their ass off. We all have secrets. We might tell our love ones bits of it, but the full version rarely surfaces. We all have reasons why we keep certain things in our hearts and in our heads. Some of us feel like we will be judged for the lives we used to live and quite frankly some of us just don’t like talking about our past. To be honest, not everything belongs in the light, whether good or bad.

Who we are today is partially based on what we’ve seen and what we’ve been through. Our pasts can shape our future. Sometimes we see people do certain things and we wonder what led them to that decision. You can ask, but I can’t promise you that they’ll tell you. All our actions and decisions are guided by something. You can spend ninety minutes listening to a motivational speaker and not feel inspired; It’s perfectly natural. If you’re not motivated from within then you’ll find life very difficult.

I carry a lot of things in my head and in my heart. A few people around me know them. I call it “sentimental rage” because I use it as a trigger in good times and in bad times. Someone ones told me that, “Sometimes indulging yourself in the memories of a lost love one is the best way to get closure”

Whatever you’re holding on to, don’t let go. Use it when you’re in a dark place and use it when you’re soaring high. Your past is always going to come back as in a mirror. It’s up to you whether you look at it with regret or with pride. Either way, use it as a guide for what you do next. It was part of you then, now, and it will always be with you.

Rage. Rage. Rage

Boy D’jine

Let It Ride

“Everyone has things that they like, dislike, love, despise, fantasize about, and are obsessed with. Everybody has something different in the above mention categories. It’s who they are, and with that in mind, don’t crucify people from having a different list than you.” I wrote this in 2014 and I recently came to realize that I haven’t really been following up on it.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned over the years is that… “It is not everywhere you go in life that you seek love and admiration.” Your presence can impact the people around you positively or negatively regardless of how close these people are to you or not. If you remember from my earlier post, “Where the Sun Shines Brightest,” I spoke about the approach we ought to take in uncomfortable situations. Let me refresh your memory since I’m a nice guy. Basically, whenever you’re in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, regardless of who you’re with, your friends, people you trust, your best option is to leave. You can’t sit there and kill yourself in the name of pleasing people.

A flaw that many humans have is the notion of correctness. That is, if someone is doing something in any way other than how you would otherwise do it, then it’s wrong. I have actually struggled with this, but I’m now working on it. Not every situation requires your input. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with watching from a distance.  You can only advise someone so much, because in the end, they have to decide which route to take. It might be the one you would’ve picked and it might not, but it’s not your life so it’s okay. You just have to let it ride and hope that they figure it out.

 

 

Boy D’Jine

We Haven’t

“When I was young, I always received, now I want to live and work so that I can give” Emmanuel Jal

Have you ever been midway into a flight only to realize you didn’t properly plan your trip? May 20^th 2015, I left USA to Cameroon via Istanbul, Turkey. As I boarded the Boeing 777 in Istanbul, I realized that the seasons in the United States aren’t the same as West Africa. It might have been May, but I was returning home in the rain season. It made sense why many Africans abroad usually visit home in November or December. Not only are they fleeing the winter in the west, it’s dry season and perfect weather conditions in Africa. I couldn’t do anything about it so I took my seat and settled in for the 6 hour flight.

Visiting family 

Forty days later, I was back in the States.  While in Cameroon, I spent a lot of time walking around, looking at the changes that had taken place. Spoke with a lot of people and they weren’t so happy with the direction in which the country was heading. Some days, kids could go to school and other days they couldn’t. We all know that children are very important for they are nation’s future and tomorrow’s citizens. If the youth of your country cannot go to school, how can they become future leaders? Omar Pene, in a song titled “Enfants Soldats” said, “…for the children to be free, we have to respect their rights.” Although the song was geared more towards the combat against the use to child soldiers, that line can be applied to kids not being able to go to school. I knew I wanted to do something, but I was unsure on what to do.

After four months, my idea came. I was cleaning my room and I saw some books I’d previously read and I figured why not collect books and send them to Cameroon. So with the four books in my hand, I bought a shipping barrel and was ready to go. I didn’t know where to start and laziness kicked in. I brought the idea to my girlfriend, Sirri, and she was fully invested in it. She dreams of one day opening a library back in Cameroon. We all know the power of books; especially good ones, have that sort of power. If you let them, they can change your life, serve as another compass or guide, or give you a lift when you need it most. I’m sure you can think of at least one book that fundamentally changed you as a human being.

A few weeks later, another friend, Aristide joined and we created a flyer. It was time to really get to work. We decided to add toys in our collection as “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Effectively, #BooksAndToysForCameroon became a thing. We presented our project in church, shared it with coworkers, friends, classmates, and of course social media. The feedback was marvelous. A few more friends came on board. By now it was 2017. I still remember getting daily texts from Hannah saying, “I have another package, come and pick up.” We had stuff all over the place. Everyone had something to give. 

By the time March came around, we’d collected what we felt was enough, for a first batch to send home. I found out one of my uncles was shipping things to Cameroon; he’s a business man and he offered to have us put our things in his container. In early May, we’d successfully transported all the items to one location. Pizza, good music, and laughter helped us as we sorted the things. My barrel was useless as my uncle told us boxes would be better. By the time we finished packing, we had about twelve boxes of books and two bags of toys.

The hard part was done. Everything was boxed and loaded into the container. My aunt in Cameroon was in charge of receiving the items. She has an NGO and they were the ones going to distribute the books and toys.

As you can see, we collected a lot of items. I won’t lie to you; I needed a few tissues when my aunt sent me these pictures.

Hannah said “I felt a great satisfaction from God because he used me as an instrument and point of connection to bring books and opportunity to the kids.”

Aristide said “I’ve always been keen on not taking things for granted. Growing up in Cameroon, we never had the same opportunities and resources in school as other places or countries. Now I’m in America, I get access to a lot of things that may seem little here, but back home, it’s a huge deal. This experience has enhanced my thinking of not taking things for granted. It was fun and eye-opening and I hope to do something like this again”

Sirri said, “The moment I put the book in the box, I think of how the person who’d read it would feel. I know one-act of kindness can transform someone’s life. I have met people who have struggled to have just a pencil for class and it was impossible, so helping and being part of this was an eye-opening experience and a soul opening reality check.”

As for me, when I listen to Mamadou Mbaye sing about people smiling in vain, it pushes me to do things that would make them smile genuinely. 

We’re not millionaires, maybe philanthropists, but we really just want to put a smile on many faces and help the world become a better place little by little. 

They say never forget where you’re from… we haven’t.

#BooksAndToysForCameroon Part 2 coming soon…

Boy D’jine

Two Weeks In

We are officially half way into the month of January… yay!! This post was originally scheduled to go up Monday the eighth, but I wanted everyone to settle into the new year and get those 2018 resolutions up and running. Speaking of resolutions, I was in the gym on the second and it was packed. I saw plenty of new faces which is good and also bad. Good because, people are taking their health and fitness serious and bad because the wait time to use certain machines increase. I told some of my friends how packed the gym was, when I left, and how I’d be surprised if some of the new faces I’d seen would be there after two months. One of my friends laughed and said “not even 2 weeks.” He was absolutely right because the very next day, at the very same time, the population in the gym was much less.

     Every new year comes with people making resolutions. It’s not something new. What is a resolution if it only lasts one day? I guess there are some resolutions that can last a day. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to try out an activity, visit a city, or talk to something you’ve been crushing on. However, many people do not make one day resolutions; they are to last over the year and perhaps beyond. Which is why when those new faces never made it back to the gym the next few days, I wondered if they were already giving up on their new year resolutions.

     What are your goals this year? Where do you see yourself in five years? Do you have a savings account? How much are you saving every paycheck? Have you enrolled in the 401K at your job? These are the kinds of questions we need to start asking our friends. We are not getting any younger. Our worries cannot be when the next party is or which club/bar to go to at the weekend. These things will never go away. You can miss the party this weekend, but there will be plenty down the road to attend. I am not saying don’t party, I’m simply saying take care of business, then go party.

     Some of your friends might feel uncomfortable with these questions if you were to ask them, but trust me, when they’re alone and it hits them, they’ll come back to you to talk more about. That’s growth. Let this year be one of growth and accomplishments. Set your short-term and long terms goals. Where do you want to be in February, in June, in December and anywhere in-between? Write it down if you have to and work your way towards it. Don’t quit after the first day.

 

When you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, everything you do will have a lot more meaning to it than you could ever imagine. 

Happy New Year

 

Boy D’Jine

Where the Sun Shines Brightest

It’s 10:27 at night and I’m not in bed. It’d been a long day and I was feeling the effects of an exam I was taking for my managerial decision modeling class. Saying it was difficult is an understatement. I tried to sleep, but my head was pounding so I called my friend, Kasa to pick me up so I could go watch the indoor soccer game and clear my mind. I actually used to play for this team, but I left due to some personal reasons. Nevertheless the score is 5-5 and my mind is far away from that exam.

As I sat there watching the game, I remembered when I used to be on the field alongside all the guys and I got to thinking about happiness. What exactly is it? How does one define happiness. Is it generic or does everyone feel and experience it differently?

I believe we all experience happiness in our small unique ways. For example, I’m a fan of Mbalax, a Senegal brand of music, but people say I’m weird for liking it. I don’t mind because there’s something about it that makes me happy. Another scenario is refusing to be forced into an arranged marriage that you very well know you won’t be happy in. Whether it’s sports, music, a hobby, there’s always something that triggers happiness within us all.

We live in a world where people are afraid to do their own thing because they’re scared of being judged or being left out. No! It should not be like that. The world is all there is and life is for living. God gave us our lives to live and we ought to do the things that make us happy, the things we enjoy and love and It doesn’t matter if you’re the only one doing it. Don’t go right because everyone is going right. If the outcome of going right doesn’t suit you, be brave and turn left.

The ugliest truth sometimes is, it’s the people around you that either take advantage of you, or lead you down the wrong path. It might be hard to accept, but take a look around you and think about everything that has happened in your life. Not everything will make sense and not everyone is who they claim to be. I believe Niki Lauda said it best; “a wise man learns more from his enemies than a fool from his friends.”

In the end, whenever you’re in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, regardless of who you’re with, your friends, people you trust, your best option is to leave. Do what makes you happy, and go where you want, because that’s where the sun shines brightest.

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving

Boy D’Jine

The Human Element

Comparing and contrasting societies across different cultures is valuable. It helps you see patterns in your own society that you might otherwise take for granted, and it enriches your appreciation of the diverse patterns of culture that mark human society and human history. We live in world where a Ph.D. student from Baku is working as a doctor in Canada; a 23 year old American girl is working as a social worker in Addis Ababa; and a former child soldier from Sudan makes a living through music around there globe. These are just a few examples about the beauty of us humans; and our ability to make a positive impact anywhere around the world despite where we come from. This is the power of diversity.

The power and the will to do good is in all of us. No one told Gandhi to withstand the hunger strikes in India as he protested the British government’s decision to separate India’s electoral system by caste. Nobody told Emma McCune to leave England for Sudan and help save over 150 child soldiers.How did Mandela get the will to surpass the everyday, when injustice had him caged and trapped in every way? It’s to give.

Nowadays it’s very evident that we’ve lost our connection with each other and with the world. On March 22, 2017, there was the Westminster Bridge attack, less than 2 weeks later, a bombing in Saint Petersburg. Three days later, a truck driver in Stockholm drove into a pedestrian shopping street killing five people and injuring over a dozen more. The list goes on forever and most recently the incidents in Las Vegas and Texas. It seems like when we are about to pick ourselves up from an attack, another one happen.

What do we do? We’ve elected officials to help fight against things like this but are they doing good enough? That’s up for debate, but at the end of the day, the world is all there is. We have to find our human element and better connect with one another, love one another and live in harmony.

If we can’t change our ways and live for the best, then people like Emma, Gandhi, and Mandela would’ve died for nothing.
Boy D’Jine

Faleminderit

I still remember the first time we met. It was drizzling a bit outside and I wasn’t sure whether to wear a white or a blue shirt inside my black suit. I ended up wearing white. I arrived on time and the guard wished me luck as he directed me to my destination. We finally met and I was extremely shy, but you made me feel comfortable. You had on a white top and a brown scarf. We walked through the floor until we reached NW-416. 
We talked a bit about each other and about the job; then we dove into talking about soccer. You said you were a fan of Brazil so I was smart enough not to bring up the 7-1 destruction by the Germans. 
A year and a half has gone by and you’ve been more than a role model. When I was quiet, you spoke to me, when I was nervous, you encouraged me, when I faulted, you ensured I learned from it. 
We’ve shared many great moments. You understood me, my dark sense of humor, you laughed at my jokes, you ate my food, and most importantly you gave me a chance to provide for myself and those around me.

I will miss all of these things. 
As you move on from here, I wish you much success and happiness. I hope our paths cross again.

I’ll try not to cry. Farewell Boss ❤️ 🇦🇱 

Bel

Faces of Africa: Sir Seretse Khama

“I think that the trouble we now face in the world is caused mainly by the refusal to try and see another man’s point of view, to try and persuade by example — and the refusal to meet a rather passionate desire to impose your own will upon others, either by force or other means.“

 

Sir Seretse Goitsebeng Maphiri Khama was born in Serowe, British Protectorate of Bechuanaland, on 1 July 1921. Seretse (the name means “the clay that binds together”). His grandfather, Khama III, was paramount chief/king (Kgosi) of the Bama-Ngwato, part of the Tswana people of the region.

Khama III had traveled to London in 1885, leading a delegation which asked for Crown protection to be given to Bechuanaland, foiling the empire building ambitions of Cecil Rhodes and the incursions of the Boers. Khama III died in 1923 and the paramount briefly passed to his son Sekgoma II, who died a couple of years later (in 1925). At the age of four, Seretse Khama effectively became Kgosi and his Uncle Tshekedi Khama was made regent and guardian.

The lonely and often sickly child was sent to boarding schools in South Africa, but developed into a healthy and gregarious adolescent sportsman. He attended Fort Hare University College and graduated with a general BA degree in 1944. In August 1945 he was sent to England for a legal education. After a year at Balliol College, Oxford, he enrolled for barrister studies at the Inner Temple, London.

In 1947 Seretse Khama met an English woman of his age, Ruth Williams, daughter of a retired army officer. After a year of courtship, they married in 1948. This marriage threw southern Africa into political turmoil. The Apartheid government in South Africa had banned inter-racial marriages and the marriage of a black chief to a British white woman was a problem. The British government feared that South Africa would invade Bechuanaland or that it would immediately move for full independence.

Uncle Tshekedi ordered Seretse home to berate him and demand a divorce. Seretse came back immediately and was received by Tshekedi with the words “You Seretse, come here ruined by others, not by me.” Seretse fought hard to persuade the Bama-Ngwato people of his continued suitability as chief, and on 21 June 1949 at a Kgotla (a meeting of the elders) he was declared Kgosi, and his new wife was warmly welcomed.

The Labour government in Britain desperately needed South African gold and uranium. It agreed to bar Seretse Khama from chieftainship. The Commonwealth relations minister denied that the government was bowing to racism, and lied about this before the House of Commons. A judicial enquiry was set up to prove Seretse’s personal unfitness to rule. However, Justice Harragin concluded that Seretse was eminently fit to rule. His report was therefore suppressed by the British government for thirty years. Seretse and his wife were exiled to England in 1951, and in 1952 the new Conservative government declared the exile permanent.

Under international pressure for its apparent racism, Britain relented and allowed Seretse Khama and his wife to return to Bechuanaland in 1956, but only if both he and his uncle renounced their claim to the chieftaincy.

What hadn’t been expected was the political acclaim that six years exile had given him back home — Seretse Khama was acclaimed as a nationalist hero. In 1962 Seretse founded the Bechuanaland Democratic Party and campaigned for multi-racial reform.

The liberal-democratic BDP swept aside its pan-Africanist and socialist rivals in the small railway towns, to win the first universal franchise elections of 1965. Seretse Khama became prime minister and then, on 30 September 1966, president of the Republic of Botswana.

                “We stand virtually alone in our belief that a non-racial society can work now, but there are those  … who will be only too delighted to see our experiment fail.”

Though Botswana came to be described as a ‘paternalist democracy’ under the dominance of one political party, it succeeded in establishing itself as both prosperous and peaceful. Between 1966 and 1980 Botswana had the fastest growing economy in the world. It also came to be seen a remarkable state with high principles, upholding liberal democracy and non-racialism in the midst of a region embroiled in civil war, racial enmity and corruption.

Khama’s health continued to bother him. He received frequent and intensive medical treatment, and on 13 July 1980, whilst still in office died of pancreatic cancer in Gaborone, Botswana. Before his death, however, he did see Zimbabwe’s independence and the launching of the Southern African Development Coordination Conference (SADCC) in April 1980. 1 July (his birthdate) is celebrated as a public holiday in Botswana, Sir Seretse Khama Day.

Until next time …

 

Boy D’Jine